I did everything backwards

Recently I’ve been reflecting on something that sits right at the heart of the work I do as a coach and mentor.

A big part of my role is simply giving my clients permission to do the thing they already feel called to do deep down.

On the surface, that might sound obvious - almost unnecessary. But what I’ve seen again and again is that people come to coaching because they care deeply about the work they want to do… yet they’re carrying decades of social conditioning about what they should do instead. Before they can fully move forward, they often have to unlearn a lot of that.

This has very much been the story of my own life.

For the first two and a half decades of my life, I tried my very best to fit in and do things the way society expected. I was a good student, I went straight to university, I chose a conventional career in medicine, and after graduating I joined the British Army.

From the outside, everything looked very sensible and very 'on track'.

But the truth is that I’ve always been pretty unconventional.

By that I mean that I’ve always questioned the status quo. If something didn’t make sense to me, I struggled to just accept it. I’ve always had an inquisitive mind and a natural tendency to question the way society does things.

As I discovered later on, those are actually very entrepreneurial traits.

Being an entrepreneur is essentially the art of creating meaningful solutions to important problems. And that requires thinking differently. It requires challenging established ideas and imagining new possibilities.

Over the past 15 years or so, I slowly started carving out my own path and making my own rules.

And at many points along the way, the decisions I made looked completely 'backwards' to other people. Even family and friends would sometimes sit me down to question what I was doing.

But deep down I’ve always known that just because most people do something one way… doesn’t mean I also have to do the same.

Here are a few decisions I’ve made that looked completely irrational to many people at the time:

• I bought my first property in 2014 as a buy-to-let investment, rather than as a residential home, because I wasn’t ready to buy with my partner at the time, but I still wanted to start investing.

• I left the Army in 2013, taking a £30k pay cut, and gave up a non-contributory pension and a guaranteed career for life, simply because I wanted more freedom.

• I left my GP training post and the NHS in 2016, just one year away from finishing my specialist training, with no clear path ahead, because deep down I felt there was a path I needed to carve out on my own.

• I paused my medical work for 18 months in 2018 to co-found a tech startup, despite having no prior business experience, because something in me felt strongly called to explore entrepreneurship.

• I moved to London in 2020, right after the first lockdown, leaving behind my very stable life in Birmingham - my house, my car, and my job, because I was searching for more meaning and connection in my life.

• I quit my Occupational Medicine diploma in 2021, just months away from completion, and went all-in on my coaching qualifications, because deep down I knew coaching was the path I truly wanted to follow.

• And in 2025, I relinquished my medical licence, even though I could easily have continued working one or two days a month to keep the safety net - because I knew it was time for me to fly, even though it felt terrifying.

These are just some of the examples. There are many more.

Every time I’ve chosen my own path - every time I’ve said yes to my intuition and no to what others expected of me - something powerful in my self-identity has shifted:

My confidence has grown.

My resilience has deepened.

And my belief in myself has strengthened.

Each time I take those steps, I’m reminded that I don’t have to mould myself into what society expects in order to be good enough or to live an extraordinary life.

Stepping off the societal conveyor belt is scary. But you know what’s even scarier?

Looking back one day and realising that all you did was follow rules and expectations… without ever really allowing yourself to be who you are.

This is something I see in my clients all the time. And it is exactly the shift I help my clients make when they move from being employees or overwhelmed solopreneurs… into people who design their businesses and lives intentionally.

When people start building their own businesses, suddenly there are no rules. There’s no boss, no external structure, no clear path telling you exactly what to do next. And that can feel incredibly disorienting at first.

One of the most important shifts is realising that we now get to create those things for ourselves. We get to decide how we work, how we live, and how we design our businesses.

And once people start giving themselves that permission, something really beautiful and almost magical begins to happen.

A sense of freedom begins to emerge, and once you have a taste of that, it is hard to go back to the status quo. Because there is nothing quite like living life on your own terms.

Entrepreneurship is hard. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary at times. But it’s also where so much growth happens - where we can reshape our lives and create something deeply meaningful.

Sometimes all that’s missing is permission.

So I want to leave you with a few questions to reflect on:

Where in your life do you need to give yourself permission to live more on your own terms?

Where in your business are you holding yourself back from experimenting, exploring, or trying things out?

And how could you start giving yourself more permission to simply be you - to follow your own path, even if it looks different from everyone else’s?

This is ongoing work. It certainly is for me.

But I’ve lived through the discomfort of choosing my own path, which means I deeply understand what it feels like for my clients as they do the same.

Sometimes the most powerful thing someone can hear is simply this:

You have permission to be who you are.

So find your tribe - the people who want to see you grow, explore your ideas, succeed and fully step into your potential.

Because honestly…

If not now, when?

With love,

Marcela

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Adventurous Solopreneurs Newsletter

Thank you :-)

Dr Marcela Aguirre

👩🏽‍💻 Business Development Strategist & Coach | 📈 Scaling Solopreneurs from Overwhelmed Operator to CEO-Level Founder | Leadership & Sustainable Growth | Ex-Military Doctor | Speaker | 🌎 Community Founder